


one more for the stars and the eyes of the walls

by grindlarry



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Summer Camp, Angst with a Happy Ending, F/F, Genderswap, Hiking, Past Relationship(s), goddamn it liam, ot5 are all girls except liam!!
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-05-10
Packaged: 2018-03-21 12:28:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3692268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grindlarry/pseuds/grindlarry
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Harry isn’t glaring though. Just watching, in that weird froggy way she has. Her hair is pulled up from her face with a bandana, which is unfairly cute but also GROSS. And UGLY. Yeah.<br/>Louis swallows, and pulls her gaze back to the front. She has bigger issues, like fucking DISH DUTY, then a shitty ex girlfriend to worry about. She’s managed to block out that part of her life for an entire year, surely she can do it for one more summer.</p><p>aka louis and harry are high school girlfriends who meet again as camp counselors. a lot of issues remain unresolved.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ArielFabulous](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ArielFabulous/gifts).



> hello!! firstly, thank u so much for your fabulous prompts. i based this one around the pacific northwest (specifically on mt, hood in oregon) where i live, bc i felt that was what i could most accurately write.  
> secondly, i'm so so so so so so sorry i didn't have this complete in time. i'm mostly finished but i figured u would be more interesting in a better qual fic than unedited trash. i'll update asap. there will be four updates for each two weeks at camp.  
> mostly i just hope u enjoy bc i had a wonderful time writing this!!
> 
> \+ title credit to 'down in the valley' by the head and the heart
> 
> \+ louis/zayn are the leaders of pika cabin which are [so](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/b/b4/Pika.jpg) [goddam](http://www.nps.gov/band/naturescience/images/pika_eats_3.jpg) [cute](http://endangeredspecieslawandpolicy.default.wp1.lexblog.com/files/2013/12/American-Pika.jpg) they remind me of lil mousy louis awww!! and harry and niall lead the marmot cabin bc marmots are the [funniest](http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/4/4a/Marmot_in_Grand_Teton_NP-NPS.jpg) [loudest](http://mustbethistalltoride.files.wordpress.com/2013/10/alpine_marmot_yawning_austria-wallpaper.jpg) [weirdest](http://yosemitefoothills.com/MtHoffman/large/MarmotAtAttention.jpg) fuckers. both are native to the pacific northwest which is where this is set!! 
> 
> \+ i accidentally reference parks and rec like 12 times. i am very sorry.
> 
> +louis is the nickname for louise and harry for harriet, they're both cis girls having a good time in life!!

_**week one** _

Louis knows for a fact that there are about twelve hundred cooler, hipper, edgier things she could be doing with her first summer as a college student. Some of her friends were going backpacking through Patagonia, interning in France, roadtripping across the USA. She is also sure that there’s literally nothing she’d rather do than be a camp counselor at a Camp Namanu, her summer home since she was eight.

It’s weird, coming back to this place. She sees everything so differently now. Okay, granted, Louis had only been away at University of Vermont for a year, but it changes a girl like nothing else. She’s a woman, now. Fuck her period, doing her own laundry and feeding herself whilst trying to learn does a damn better job of helping one mature than some blood coming out of her vagina.

Speaking of which, Louis really needs to stock up on some tampons because her period is due in the next four days and she doesn’t have anything except toilet paper. Unless she can nab some from Zayn. Which, actually might work.

“Zayn!” Louis yells. She hasn’t seen Zayn since the girl ditched her by the orange juice to go catch up with Niall, an old high school friend. All the camp counselors are gathered in the Main Hall for Primary Orientation, which is basically one of the adults slowly explaining to them to not use matches. This is the uncomfortable time before the actual meeting starts, so everyone is mulling around greeting each other, looking at their schedules, and eating cookies.

“Yeah Lou?” Zayn materializes from the crowd, dragging along Niall. Niall is tanned and beautiful, with her hair tucked into a perfect ponytail. It’s 100% unfair of her to come to a summer camp looking like she just got back from her summer vacation, but that’s the perk of California schools. Louis, on the other hand, gets to look like the chirpy emo from Vermont. She eyes Zayn, since Zayn also goes to U of V and should be in the same boat, but then she remembers that Zayn has never had any flaws in her appearance, ever, so.

“Nothing, just missed you. Also, do you have tampons?”

Zayn looks worried. “Yeah, do you need some right now? I have some pads too.”

“Oh, no. It’s coming in like, four days. Just want to be prepared.”

“Then you’re fine. We’re cabin captains together, so I can give them you then.”

“Really?!” Louis probably should’ve paid attention to all the documents she got sent from Camp Namanu, but wasn’t the whole point of summer to stop thinking about work and school?

“Yeah! Pika cabin!”

Louis grins. “Sick. Fuck. We’ll be the best cabin. What’s a pika?”

Zayn shrugs, biting into a cookie. “I dunno. A cute rodent, I guess.”

“Damn straight.” Louis nods authoritatively. “You can bet we’ll be the cutest damn rodents this camp has ever seen. Hey, what cabin are you, Niall?”

“Oh, I’m the counselor of the Marmot cabin!”

Louis nods. “Yes! Love the Marmot! They’re my favorite bird species.”

Zayn frowns. “Lou, marmots are a type of rodent too.”

Louis shakes her head and pokes Zayn. “Is that not what I said?”

“No. You said bird. You were trying to act like you knew.”

“Let’s not make snap judgements Zayn. So who’s your captain partner, Niall?”

Niall’s eyes bulge slightly. “Irrelevant! Who cares. I don’t. You haven’t had a chance to look around the room yet, have you?”

“No. I was abandoned here by Zayn and too scared to leave.”

“Fabulous! You should stay here. It’s really boring, best to not get your hopes up.”

Louis nods slowly. “Yeah. Thanks for the advice. I kinda wanted to see if there was anyone from our old high school around though, any fun throwbacks.” (Niall and Louis had gone to the same high school in Portland, while Zayn had gone to their rival. Niall had known Zayn, because she knew everyone, but Zayn and Louis only got close once they were in college).

“Nope!” Niall’s voice raises an octave. “No one. Not worth looking. Let’s sit down for the meeting.”

Louis shrugs. “Okay. Might as well get the boring stuff over with. There’s still a party tonight though, right?”

“Of course!” Niall reverts to her normal attitude. “It would be a shame to this camp and my family if I didn’t throw the best goddamn party of any counselor party ever.”

“Cheers!” Zayn says, leading them to their seats, “Let’s get raging drunk the night before tons of innocent, prepubescent girls flood our campsite.”

✬✬✬

The party is good. The party is GREAT. Louis needs to tell Niall this. Louis needs to write Niall’s family a LETTER saying this. What if they disown Niall? What if a false rumor gets back to the family and they have to kick Niall out because they’re so ashamed? It’s Louis’ duty as FRIEND to do this. Oh my god. She has to do this.

“ZAYN.” Louis yells, “ZAYN I NEED A PEN.” She’s currently in the living room of the weird shack/cabin where the party is being thrown. Everyone had to walk a mile-ish to get here, but it meant that Louis could feel good about exercising AND pregame on some beer while walking. Plus, the cabin is SICK, since there’s a fire pit in the middle of the courtyard, and normally she’d be terrified of being in a cabin in the deep woods, but right now she’s mostly worried about Niall and her relationship with her family. “ZAYN!”

Zayn’s rumpled head pokes out from around the corner. Her perfect eyeliner wings are smudged, but she still looks effortlessly cool in a cool arty tee shirt and arty ripped cool shorts and some cool necklaces that look really arty. Fucking arty cool Zayn. Louis is out here in some high waisted shorts and a crop top, just trying to live her life, and then ZAYN has to come along, reminding her that mainstream fashion is lame fashion. Maybe she should start wearing suspenders. That’s cool and arty, right?

“Zayn, are suspenders cool and arty?” Zayn looks at Louis, confused. “Wait, no. I need a pen. I need to write a letter to Niall’s family so they won’t disown her.”

Zayn nods slowly at Louis. Her eyes are really red. “How much can a pen really do? Can a sword beat a pen? Is there a point to art? Or is it a meaningless attempt to express ourselves when we’re all going to die?”

Louis thinks really hard about the answer for like, thirty whole seconds, before she gets distracted by Zayn’s eyebrows. And then Liam Payne. It’s LIAM PAYNE. HOLDING ALCOHOL.

“LIAM!” Louis yells. She runs over and jumps on him, kicking the beer out of his hand. “LIAM I HAVEN’T SEEN YOU IN LIKE A YEAR OH MY GOD LIMA I HEARD YOU BROKE UP WITH DANIELLE AND GOT A BUZZCUT AND I WAS LIKE WHAT THE FUCK THAT’S NOT THE LIAM I KNOW BUT THEN ZAYN CONFIRMED IT AND I WAS LIKE DAMN BUT YOUR HAIR LOOKS GOOD NOW IT’S OKAY!” (Louis went to high school with Liam).

“Louis!!” Liam yells back, before covering her in a hug. “How are you! How’s Vermont!?”

“Cold! I love bears!! What are you doing here!?”

“Counselor! For Clark’s Nutcracker cabin. And don’t worry about Danielle. Honestly, I’m a lot happier now.”

Louis laughs, slightly manic. “Sure Liam! Relationships suck!”

Liam laughs. “Wow! Just went through a bad break up?”

Louis grins. “Nope! Haven’t dated anyone all year. I’m not for relationships.” She chugs her beer. She doesn’t want to talk about this. Suspenders are such an easier subject for conversation.

Liam, however, doesn’t drop it. “Really?” He looks incredulous, which is like, okay Liam, shut up, plenty of people don’t date. “So you haven’t dated anyone since H-”

“ALRIGHT!” Louis yells, turning around, “Are they playing Spin the Bottle over there? What the fuck are we, five? Let’s join!”

“Wait, Lou,” Liam tries to grab her arm, but Louis spins away.

“Friends!” She yells, plopping down in the circle, “THIS IS LITERALLY THE DUMBEST GAME AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT. Now, can I start?”

“Louis.” Liam hisses. “This isn’t a good idea. We should leave.”

“Liam, don’t be silly. This is fun.” She gulps down the rest of her beer and places the bottle in the middle. Liam glances up, panicked. She looks around the group with him, but doesn’t immediately recognize anyone. To be fair, everyone’s faces are kind of blurring together at this point. “This is just your average third grade fun.”

She spins the bottle and gets lost in its hypnotic spinning for a couple seconds, until Liam distracts her with a violent arm gesture. “Hey! Liam! Calm down!”

“No, I just.” He gestures again, staring across the circle, then goes very pale and looks down at the bottle. Louis looks down with him too. It’s stopped spinning, so she looks up and sees who it’s pointing to, and no.

No.

Louis feels herself go from happily-and-deliriously-drunk to painfully sober in roughly .2 seconds.

“Lou.” Harry FUCKING Styles begins to say from across the circle.

“No.” Louis stands up, pushing Liam away from her and shaking her head. She feels like her throat is swelling up, like she can’t get enough air in her lungs. “No. No. No.”

She turns and starts walking out of the room, pushing people aside, and fuck, she has never regretted being 5’4 until now. She hears someone calling after her, but she can’t tell who it is. She just needs to be outside, away from everyone.

“Louis.” Someone grabs her arm, and she throws them off angrily, shoving herself through the door.

“Get away from me!” The cold air wakes her up even more, helps her realize that she’s drunk in the middle of the woods with no idea how to get back to her cabin. “No.”

“Louis, can you please just look at me!”

“No!” She screams, but she turns around anyway, and of fucking course Harry Styles is standing there in a flannel and ripped jeans looking like every traumatizing memory Louis has ever buried so she could lead a normal life. “What the hell do you want?”

“Do you... Can we talk?”

Louis laughs once, short and derisive and without an ounce of humor. “Don’t you think we’ve talked enough? Didn’t really help us though, did it?” Her throat burns because all she can think about is how Harry has grown out her hair, and how it used to be in little ringlets down to her shoulders, but now they’re looser waves past her tits, and they look so good, she always looks so good, fuck.

“Louis...” Before Harry can finish her thought, Zayn is suddenly there, pulling Louis into a tight hug, shielding her from Harry and growling “Harry, don’t.”, and then Liam bursts through the door, dragging Niall, yelling something about “Out here!” and then music flares up from inside again and goddamn, it’s a proper high school reunion, isn’t it?

“Harry...” Niall mutters. “What are you doing babe?”

“Did you know?!” Louis demands, lightly shoving Zayn off her so she can aggressively point at Niall. “Did you know about this entire time and not warn me?” She gestures toward Harry angrily, refusing to look at her. Maybe this is a hallucination. Or a dream. Nightmare.

“I mean...” Niall pulls Harry back and refuses to meet Louis’ eyes as she mumbles to the ground. “She’s kinda my cabin mate.”

“FUCK. What the hell Niall?! I can’t believe you! How can you just not tell me!”

Niall mouths silently at her.

“God.” Louis shakes her head. “Let’s go, Zayn. This party just got ruined” She flips off Niall and Harry (and only kinda Liam), before storming off. Zayn follows her, thank god. “I know you know, by the way. And I’m pissed off, but you’re the only one I trust to get me back to the cabin, so let’s walk and pout in silence, okay?”

“If that’s what you need.” Zayn replies. They crunch through the woods silently for a couple of minutes, before Zayn gently laces their fingers together and squeezes.

“You’ll be fine, Lou.” She whispers. “You’ll be great.”

✬✬✬

Louis is not going to do great. She’s not doing badly, per se. But she’s panicking. And thinking about Harry’s laugh. And hating herself for thinking about Harry’s laugh. So. Things are not going great.

She and Zayn and crammed into the back row of the Main Hall, pretending to listen to Maggie, the camp leader and one of the few adults. She’s lecturing them about proper conduct with even more ferocity than Louis is used to, which probably means she found out about the party last night. The wonderful thing is that she can’t punish or eject anyone, because the campers are due to arrive in an hour, and finding a replacement leader in an hour is basically impossible.

Maggie moves on from her rant about the dangers of alcohol to discussing the different duties, and what’s expected from each job. Louis glances down at at her assignment sheet, and snorts. Apparently the world does hate her.

“What is it?” Zayn whispers, leaning over.

“My first job is dish duty. Can you fucking believe it? This camp is rigged against me.”

Zayn stifles a laugh. Louis hits her with her rolled up piece of paper. “Zayn! This isn’t funny!Everyone gets to do cool activities and I get the job a bus boy gets paid minimum wage for at McDonald’s!”

Zayn laughs even harder.

“Ugh.” Louis slumps back in her chair. “What is your first job, then?”

Zayn giggles guiltily. “Archery. I’m the archery instructor.”

Louis lets out an indignant little shriek. The back eight rows all turn around to glare judgmentally at her. “Sorry.” She whisper shouts. “Just got a little overwhelmed with excitement.” She smiles uncomfortably and tries to gesture the rude gazes away.

While doing so, she accidentally catches Harry’s eye, who was one of the people who turned around. She isn’t glaring though. Just watching, in that weird froggy way she has. Her hair is pulled up from her face with a bandana, which is unfairly cute but also GROSS. And UGLY. Yeah.

Louis swallows, and pulls her gaze back to the front. She has bigger issues, like fucking DISH DUTY, than a shitty ex girlfriend to worry about. She’s managed to block out that part of her life for an entire year, surely she can do it for one more summer.

✬✬✬

The campers, once they arrive, appear like total fuckers, but adorable fuckers. If there’s one thing Louis hates in this world, it’s middle school girls. That being said, she’s been put in charge of 8 rowdy middle school girls for the entire summer, so she probably shouldn’t share those sentiments with anyone. There’s Olivia, Channing, Grace, Meaghan, Ciara, Leanna, Sophia, and Xela (pronounced Sheila). Or, as Louis had renamed them while studying their profiles, Bangs, Ginger, Shorty, Freckles, Chirpy, Stallion, Blue Hair, and Sorry Your Parents Hate You And Gave You That Name.

They’re all either loud and jumpy, or sullen and shy. Once everyone is situated in their bunks, they stare at each other judgingly, trying to figure who to befriend and who to dub as “weird”. Louis relates and understands, but dislikes it. Everyone in her cabin is going to fucking love and adore each other by the time this is done, or she’ll force them to stay even after the camp ends, just for the sake of bonding.

“Hi, all. My name is Louis, this is Zayn, and you lucky ladies are part of Cabin Pika!”

None of them reply. That’s okay. Louis can do this.

“Now. Who here watches Parks and Rec?” A couple hands go up. “Orange is the New Black?”

A few new hands, a few old hands. “The Bachelorette?”

“Okay. Well. Zayn and I are going to split you up depending on your TV show preferences, and you ladies have to create a 45 second presentation on why that show is superior.”

Everyone nods, except for Sorry Your Parents Hate You And Gave You That Name, who raises her hand.

“What if our parents don’t let us watch TV?” Louis feels her smile become plastic. Like wow, do her parents genuinely want to make her life difficult forever?

“Did you read Harry Potter?” Zayn pipes up. Sorry Your Parents Hate You And Gave You That Name nods. “Then you and I can do a presentation on that.”

A couple minutes later, when everyone is laughing at “The Office” presentation, Louis leans over and whispers in Zayn’s ear, “Best goddamn Pika Cabin ever.”

✬✬✬

The first couple of days goes wonderfully. Louis and Zayn use shaving cream to draw a Pika on the doorstep of every cabin in the Girl’s and Boy’s circles, just to establish their dominance early on. Their little minions are in awe of the trick, and Blue Hair and Chirpy insist on being part of the next prank.

Another plus is that dish duty isn’t as bad as she expected. Liam also has it, which means she can fuck around and blow bubbles at him while he dutifully cleans both their share of dishes. Beyond that, they’re only needed for about an hour after every meal, which means once they’re finished cleaning, they can do whatever they want until the next meal.  

She spends a lot of time at archery with Zayn, making fun of her form and whistling the Hunger Games tune whenever convenient. She also explores with Liam. Sometimes they go on hikes, or swim in the lake, or just look around the camp. Louis also has a lot of time to herself, since Liam likes to go on runs (gross) and study (grosser) a lot. That’s when she either goes to Zayn, or meanders off to explore by herself.

Once, while wandering around alone, she figures out that one can climb up onto the roof of the Main Hall by climbing up the logs. The main hall is at least two stories, and sat snugly in the middle of a clearing, which means the stargazing from on top is superb. She thought about bringing Zayn or Liam, maybe even Niall, up to the top, but she likes the roof private. There’s something calming in the loneliness up there, a good place to be free from her thoughts.

And any refuge from Louis’ thoughts was welcome. When she isn’t occupied with being a pain, bonding with her munchkins, and or appreciating nature, Harry almost always finds her way into Louis’ mind. She is like a shadow, constantly in the background. It isn’t only bad thoughts either, which would be easier. Louis will see a pine needle, and think about the bits in in Harry’s irises that are the same color. Or she’ll be cleaning up banana peels from the tables after breakfast and helplessly start thinking about the time Harry tried to deepthroat a banana while maintaining eye contact with Louis, but broke down with laughter half way through and nearly choked to death. It is things like that, little bits and pieces, that bleed their way into Louis’ consciousness without her even realizing.

She’d been doing so well, moving on with her life, embracing all the bumps and bruises of college, and just seeing Harry had her spiralling back. She didn’t want to consider what it all meant, the immensity of the effect Harry really had on her. It was too scary.

Instead she embraces every bit of Camp Namanu, and ignores with all her might the presence of a dumb beautiful curly haired girl.

✬✬✬

At the end of the first week, they have a celebratory barbecue. The whole barbecue thing is great, the ribs succulent, the chocolate cake decadent, and the evening surprisingly warm for a mountain dusk. The downside comes after, when Louis is sent inside alone to clean up after the chocolate cake (she knew there was something untrustworthy about it), while Liam and Daniel clean up after all the barbecue. She’s pretty sure this is sexist somehow. She could take them to court.

Sighing dramatically, Louis slams her way into the kitchen. She grabs a random apron from the cupboard (checkered red, with a small drawing of a prawn in an apron on the front. The drawing is labeled “apron on a prawn!”. Louis questions why she puts up with these puns sometimes), ties it, and snaps on some rubber gloves. If she hurries and finishes this, she can probably get a game of truth or dare going for her cabin before it’s lights out. Bonding is very important in these early stages.

She turns the corner and heads to the sink, hyped and ready, and-

This has got to be a sick fucking joke.

“What are you doing here?” Louis doesn’t mean to sound as aggressive as she does, but. Too bad.

Harry Styles jumps from where she’s cleaning a mixing bowl in the sink. Her long hair is in a messy bun on the top of her head (of course Harry would be the only person on the planet who can actually do messy buns with perfect little tendrils spirally down. Ugh) and she looks like a startled rabbit. “Lou! is.” The last syllable sounds forced on her tongue. “I could ask you the same.”

“I’m on dish duty.” Louis says snidely, with much too much pride for someone who’s on dish duty. “I’m suppose to be here.”

“Oh. I’m on cooking duty. I’d figured I’d clean up all the cake stuff since I made an extra one just for me. So like, I kinda owed it.”

“Oh.” Louis stood there stiffly. Part of her wanted to leave, take the excuse to skip out on work and let Harry deal with it. But another selfish part of her wants to stay and watch the way Harry bites her lip as she scrubs at a pan and the tendons in her neck jump with each arm movement. An unbidden part of Louis wonders if her neck tastes different than it did a year ago.

Harry watches Louis, confused on whether to leave or keep cleaning. Uncertainly, she turns back to her cleaning. “So... How’s University of Vermont?”

“Uh. Good.” The question makes Louis itchy, but it draws her in. She grabs the tubs of flour and sugar off the counter and start putting them back in the cupboard. “Hard. But fun. Lots of good people and classes. Fun parties.”

“That’s nice.” Harry smiles, that intoxicating, genuine smile she has, where her dimples barely peak out. “What classes did you end up taking?”

Louis swallows hard, remembers Harry on her bed, flipping through the U of V course guide and yelling out the ones she thought looked fun. “Um, History of the World through Drama, Creative Writing, Biology 101, Com Sci, and How To Write A Symphony.”

Harry nods. “Those sound awesome.”

“They were. My Symphony teacher was insane, but I practically wrote three albums with her, it was brilliant.” Louis respectfully leaves out that two of those albums were about heartbreaking girls with green eyes and long legs.

“That sounds perfect for you.” Three heartbeats passed, and then Harry is muttering. “Did you, um, are you seeing anyone?”

Louis nearly bites her tongue and sets down the rag she was using to clean off the counters hard. “Why do you care?”

“Louis.” Harry groans a little. “I- You know why.”

“You don’t have a fucking right to know.” She bites out. This question would probably be easier if she had a nice string of people she could describe to Harry, or a glorious girlfriend of eight months she could boast about. But instead she has fucking nothing, no surprise there, and Harry’s expectancy is just salt to the wound.

“I just want to know.” Harry says in a small voice.

“Well, what about you? I bet I know at least one of the last people you kissed. How about that, huh?”

“Louis.” Harry squeaks out again, her voice cracking this time. She glares at her reproachfully. Louis stares back, feeling how cruel this is, but not wanting to stop it. All her bitterness, and her anger and frustration and sadness is oozing out of her, like green bile out of a cut. It feels so good to finally purge herself of these pent up feelings in some way, like watching Harry flinch is some kind of fucked up salve to the bruises she left of Louis’ insides.

“Bet he didn’t last long though. You probably moved on, and just forgot to mention it to him. Did you also end up having to break up with him over the phone?”

Harry’s knuckles whiten from where she’s grasping the lip of the sink. “You don’t know what the fuck you’re talking about.” Her voice is ragged.

“Did you ever tell him about me? Did he even fucking know? Or was that not important enough to mention?”

“I never spoke to Nick again, Louis!” Harry yells, whirling around from the sink. “It was one fucking night, one fucking mistake I’m going to regret for the rest of my life. And I know I hurt you and I’ll never forgive myself for that, but I’m just trying to fucking move on and be your friend and I can’t if all you ever do is fixate on it!”

“That’s because we can’t just be fucking friends, Harry! You were the only person I ever fucking loved! I can’t act like that doesn’t mean anything! Maybe if we had just broken up normally, if Nick never happened, but I. I can’t Harry. I’m sorry.”

They stand there, staring at each other and breathing heavily. “Okay then.” Harry whispers. “Thank you for being honest.”

Louis chokes back a laugh. Or maybe it’s a sob. Is there really a difference? “See you, I guess.” She flees out of the kitchen, leaving a dirty rag and half cleaned counter behind her.

✬✬✬

**_week two_ **

The next time Louis sees Harry, she doesn’t have the emotional strength or energy to fight. She had to clean up after a dinner of fondue (like honestly? Fondue at sleepaway camp? Is someone out there purposely trying to design Louis’ waking nightmare into a camp?), work out a tense disagreement between Freckles and Ginger, and orchestrate a prank in which each cabin found the droppings of their animal namesake all over their floor (Unsurprisingly, middle school girls aren’t wild about handling feces, so Louis and Zayn were left to do most of the work). Now she’s wearily climbing the logs to the Main Hall ceiling with a bag of peanut butter filled pretzels and a pillow half hazardly stuffed inside the backpack on her back

She heaves herself over the edge of the roof, prepared for some excessive snacking and pondering of life, when Harry’s awful (beautiful) raspy voice interrupts her.

“Louis?!”

Louis groans and whips her head over to find Harry, in sweats and a hoodie, laying on a blanket and eating Lindor Dark Chocolate Truffles. She’s seen worse things in her life.

“Oh my god.” Louis groans. “Why are you even up here?”

Harry shrugs. “I found this spot in like, sixth grade. It’s a good place to think.”

Louis groans again. “Please don’t make me leave.”

Harry looks a little perplexed. “All I want is to be civil, Lou. Truffle?”

Louis bites down her retort in the name of high quality chocolate. It's well worth it. “This is literally the best thing on Earth.”

Harry laughs throatily. “Lit-erally. Did you see the Parks and Rec finale?”

Louis scoffs. “Did I see the finale. Of course! Leslie Knope shaped me into the woman I am today! I need to see that through!” She smiles a bit, but doesn’t offer Harry a pretzel. She’s not that easy.

“I just wasn’t sure.” Harry replies, gesturing for Louis to sit next to her. Louis sits down, but stays a good five feet away. “Maybe you were too busy during college life or something.”

“Nah. We had a get together in one of my friend’s dorm rooms, and all went out for breakfast food after. Parks takes preference over education.”

“Sounds fun.” Harry hums. Damn Harry’s ability to coax Louis into conversation. Bringing Leslie Knope into this was a low blow. “Mine was chill. Niall came over and we drowned our sorrows in a lot of whipped cream.”

Louis stretches out and smiles into her pillow. “I’m sure it was a worthy tribute.”

She shrugs. “It was fine. Wasn’t the same, but it was good.”

They fall into silence, munching on their respective snacks and gazing at the stars. Louis doesn’t speak again until the moon has risen directly above them and she’s getting sick of peanut butter filled pretzels.

“Nothing has really been the same since it happened, has it?”

“Not really.” Harry whispers, glancing down at Louis, “Miss the old days a lot.”

Louis swallows and looks down at her hands. It feels a little bit too heavy to be just reminiscing about a TV show comedy. Which is utterly terrifying to consider.

"Me too." She whispers back.

It's a start.

✬✬✬

 ****  
  



	2. Chapter 2

**_week three_ **

Yeah, so friends? Louis probably isn’t going to be able to do that. She and Harry had come to a tentative truce after the night on the rooftop, so Louis was no longer spitting fire every time she was near Harry, and Harry was no longer desperately trying to get Louis to forgive her at every opportunity. It had been fine. The second week had finished off with no yelling fights or hair loss. Even though she still felt the sting of acid every time she saw Harry, it had faded slightly.

Now, however, it was the “Second Quarter” which meant new job assignments. Which meant Louis was assigned to Hiking Counselor. Which Harry was too. Which meant Harry showed up every day in skimpy shorts and tight sports bras.

Louis can do tentative friendship just fine. She’s happy too, since it’s a lot less weight on her mind. She can not do the friendship-filled-with-inordinate-amounts-of-sexual-tension-and-troubled-history. She won’t.

Because it works like this: She and Harry will be walking at the back of the group on the second day, making sure that they leave no one behind, and discussing whether Liam and Sophia from the Salmon Cabin are hooking up. All of a sudden, a cold breeze blows, because they’re on a mountain and mountains are cold, even if it’s July. Harry will be wearing a sports bra and threadbare tee shirt, and she’ll get cold. Her nipples will start poking through her shirt, and all Louis will be able to think about is the one time she played with them until they were so sensitive Harry started crying. And then she’ll want to push Harry against the nearest tree and kiss her until they forget their own names. And then she realizes she’s probably not the last person to touch Harry like that, and definitely not the last person to kiss her. And then she gets grumpy and horny and frustrated, and silently pouts for the next two miles until Harry’s nipples calm the fuck down and someone brings up David Beckham (the only man Louis would ever have sex with).

It’s the fourth day of this unique torture, and they’re going swimming. It’s an 11.6 mile hike (eleven), but everyone brought swimsuits and food, so they plan on stopping several times for lunch and afternoon dips. It’s fun. Louis and Harry bring up the back of the group, as they have been doing the entire week, and secretly snack on pistachios. They stop a couple of times so Harry can take pictures of Timothy Lake with her film camera (Louis had to bite down her “Filthy hipster” comment), and mostly, Louis doesn’t notice the passage of miles.

The group, three other counselors and twelve kids, finally find an acceptable lunch spot. Louis collapses next to Freckles, and starts getting out her sandwich. Harry, however, mutters, “Sweet.” and suddenly loses her shirt. Then the shoes. Then her pants are gone. “I’ve been wanting to swim.”

She’s wearing a skimpy bikini, bright yellow with pineapples and mangos all over. They look worn and comfy, free of any padding or wire. Just some fabric and string. Not that Harry would ever need any wire or padding. Her tits are relatively small, much to her chagrin (Harry has moaned about them more than once to Louis), but her body is effortlessly gorgeous. Long, shapely legs with her toned, olive skinned stomach. Not even the yellow washes her out, which is like really?? Fucking Harry Styles.

It’s not that Louis is self conscious per say. She was blessed with a good metabolism and access to healthy food, and soccer keeps her pretty fit. It’s just that she, unlike Harry, isn’t ready to be spit out onto the Victoria’s Secret runway. All the fat in her body heads straight for her thighs and ass, which is great when you have a loving girlfriend whose favorite pastime is to munch on the aforementioned body parts, but much less great when your now ex-girlfriend is flaunting her perfectly flat body around and you now have a nice layer around your body from copious amounts of Cup O Noodles which originally was keeping you warm from the Vermont weather but now is just embarrassing because your ex-girlfriend now probably only hooks up with cool Portland hipsters like the ones on her instagram and roadtrips to the beach with them so they can show off their stomachs together, even though you don’t want to hook up with your now ex girlfriend because she fucked you up a lot and made dating in college a lot harder, even if she is just as perfect as you remember.

On the bright side, Louis’ body shape is similar to Beyonce’s. And also Harry is calling to her from the water, eyes as sparkly as the lake.

Louis flips her off and shakes her head at Freckles, in a “Can you believe this girl?” kind of way. “Absolutely mad. That water was snow two days ago.”

Freckle rolls her eyes. “You really want to go in”

“No, I don’t! You’re ridiculous!”

“Yes you do. You lectured our cabin this morning on the importance of taking advantage of swimming opportunities.”

“I’m wiser now. I have to eat my sandwich.”

“Get in the damn lake.”

“God. Demanding.” (Louis has raised her so well. She could cry. “No thank you. I like my toes.”

“Louis. Don’t be silly.”

“Freckles. Don’t be dictor-ly.” Louis would happily get in the lake at this point, but can’t as a matter of principle.

“That’s not a word. Also, I’ll pour water on your bed if you don’t go in now.”

Louis pauses. She could call Freckle’s bluff, or she could take it as an excuse. “Fine, you little fuck.” She yanks her shirt off, standing up quickly so no one can see the weird way her stomach rolls when she sits, and throws her hiking boots in Freckle’s face. “Remember me if I drown!”

She splashes into the water and comes up right in front of Harry, so they’re less than a foot apart, the dripping water from Harry’s hair hitting Louis’ arms. Harry has to tilt her head down when they’re this close, and her hair swings forward, making a little barrier from the rest of the world.

“Hi.” Harry whispers, and for a second, Louis is ready to kiss her.

All of a sudden, a couple of the kids are thundering into the water, splashing up a storm, and Louis yanks herself away from Harry. She tries to laugh it off and playfully dunk Harry under, but part of her mind is still buzzing with the thrill of being so close to Harry.

Who needs friendship anyway.

✬✬✬

**_week four_ **

Louis’ attempts to distance herself from Harry certainly doesn’t go unnoticed, but definitely unacknowledged. She tries to lead the front of the group during hikes for the rest of the week, but they send her back, insisting that that’s her role. When that fails, she drags Alan back there with her, to make conversation and stop her from doing anything she would regret with Harry. Alan shoots her weird looks, but never calls her out, so she keeps chatting with him, and ducking around Harry at meals.

In her defense, it’s not entirely unwarranted. The feeling of waking up and listening to seven hysterical, drunk phone messages from Harry has been seared into Louis’ brain, and is an agony she still feels, especially when she looks at Harry. That, coupled with the low thrum of arousal she almost always feels near her, is too dangerous to mess with.

However, clearly all the gods are working against Louis this summer, because the hiking counselors are suppose to guide a four day backpacking trip around Mt. Hood on the Timberline Trail to celebrate the camp being half over. Everyone is assigned the same unofficial positions they were doing last week, except this time, Alan will be staying at the main camp nursing a slight head cold and Louis will have to trudge along next to Harry for forty miles.

Louis’s small internal voice whispers “It’s not like that is a hardship” and Louis thinks “Shut the fuck up, we’ve already discussed this situation” back.

✬✬✬

After two days of backpack fitting and food collection, the four counsellors and nine excited campers shuffle into the van and set off towards the Timberline Lodge. It's 7 in the morning, so half the car is still sipping on cups of coffee and blearily gazing at each other. Stallion (Leanna) is one of the campers who opted to come, which made Louis quite pleased. She has no idea who the other eight nuggets are, although Harry appeared to have one of her own signed up as well, if their familiar chatting is anything to go by. Harry's hair is once again in a bun, and four different scarves are hanging off her backpack like little flags. Her bag is 34 pounds while Louis' is 32. The two male counselors, Josh and Lucas both are pushing 50 pounds with their packs, but that's the problem with having genetically stronger shoulders.

"Hey roomie." Harry whispers to Louis, nudging her shoulder.

"Huh?"

"We're staying in the same tent. I'm the one carrying it."

Louis is familiar with the tents. Everyone going on the backpacking trip had to prove proficiency at setting them up and taking them down. (Which was like? Really? The trip is four nights) They're tiny, light things, made for two people who don't have issues with personal space or tons of unmentionable baggage between them. So. Clearly Louis and Harry don’t fit into that category.

Honestly, fuck this camp.

✬✬✬

The first day is the easiest. They only had to walk five miles, compared to the next couple of days, which would be around 8 and 9 miles. There was a fucking unbearable trek down and back up in Zig Zag canyon, but according to Lucas, who has hiked the Timberline Trail before, most of the hike is like that. On the bright side, they’re hiking through Paradise Park and end at Lost Creek, both of which are so ridiculously beautiful, Louis feels her ribs cracking and swells with appreciation for life and nature pouring out.

Harry is in heaven, picking flowers to make a crown (Lucas reprimands her for destroying nature: “Goddamn it, Harry! Leave nothing but tracks!”), and stopping everywhere to take pictures. Louis has resorted to using a snippy, chilly attitude towards Harry, so while she rolls her eyes and huffs when Harry stops, she doesn’t actually ditch her.

They stop for lunch at Zigzag River, eating bagels, salami, cheese, and avocado. They play some name games, in an attempt to get to know each other, and fill up their water bottles using some water pumps. Louis becomes much more familiar with Nibblet (aka Cassie, eats her food like a goddamn mouse) who’s from Harry’s cabin.

The rest of the hike is pretty easy once they trek out of the canyon. Mostly they’re just making their way through beautiful meadows and small collections of trees. Stallion is struggling with the weight of her pack, her beautifully shaped eyebrows all out of place due to sweat, and Louis discreetly takes the tent she was carrying from her. Who cares if it’s another nine pounds and Lucas would probably yell at her if he found out? It’s pikas’ duty to look out for each other in this wolf-eat-pika world.

Anyway, they reach their first campsite pretty quickly after that, so it’s not like the tent actually weighs her down that much. It’s still mid afternoon, so everyone refills their water bottles at Lost Creek, dunks their heads under to wash off the sweat, and go about setting up camp. Louis peels her boots off while Harry and Nibblets are setting up their tent. Her feet are uncomfortably raw in a couple places, since her boots were brand spanking new and a little bit tight. Her feet have been hinting at blistering for the past week, and the extra 40 pounds in all it takes. But there’s no point in complaining now, since there isn’t anything anyone could do. She slaps on a couple bandages, and moseys over to Josh to help make the dinner (essentially turning on some gas to boil water and then pouring the aforementioned water in bowls.) If she can handle the emotional whirlwind that is Harry Styles, she can live with some raw feet.

✬✬✬

They're half way through the second day and Louis is _hurting_. Her band aids have done fuck all to keep her feet from blistering, and the backpack on her back is only getting heavier. Harry keeps asking her if she's okay, but Louis just grunts, not wanting to deal with Harry yelling at her for taking an extra ten pounds.

When they reach the trail junction, Harry insists that she needs to pee. The rest of the group keeps walking while Louis hangs back to wait for Harry. Buddy system, and all that.

They unload their bags onto the nearby log and Harry unwinds her scarf/headband so she can wipe the sweat off her face. "Do you know where the toilet paper is?"

Louis stretches her hands up and hears something click back into place in her back. "Yeah. It's the top compartment of mine."

She leaves Harry to dig through her bag while she sips on her water and looks at the view. The back of her tee shirt is soaking with sweat and her shoulders are throbbing, but they only have a couple more miles before camp, so Louis can tough it out.

"Louis?" Harry asks behind her. Harry has an absolutely gorgeous voice, all melted chocolate and cinnamon, but when she's annoyed or frustrated, it gets a pinched, rougher edge. Not to wallow or anything, but Louis became very familiar with it towards  the end of last year. Harry's voice has taken on the same edge now, which immediately makes Louis nervous.

"Yeah?" She turns around and. Oh. Her backpack is on the ground in front of Harry, with the main compartment yawning open, and in Harry's hands, Stallion's tent. "Oh."

"What's this?" She steps forward.

"Um. Funny story. Y’know Stallion? Or I guess to you she's Leanna. _Anyway_ , she was really struggling and I was just checking in on her like the good counselor I am and I figured I could take some of her weight. To, y'know, provide support. It's totally fine, I'm not feeling it at all." Louis jabbers.

"Not feeling it at all?" Harry advances, practically growling.

Louis shakes her head rapidly.

"Is that why you've been gimping along silently for the past four miles?"

"I haven't been gimping!" Louis squeaks.

Harry laughs. She's very close now. "Bullshit. You're wincing every time you take a goddamn step."

"I'm helping Stallion. It's fine."

"Bullshit! Silently hurting yourself isn't fine Louis!" Harry's nearly a foot away from Louis now. She drops the tent to punctuate the end of her outburst, and her arms fall weakly to her sides. "Taking some food, maybe her Jetboil stove is helping her. Taking the fucking tent is just being a stoic idiot."

The thing about Harry that Louis had accidentally forgotten is that, despite her big eyes and dumb jokes, she has an undercurrent of maturity that Louis lacks. She seems to have a membership into the mysterious world of adults, like she can make rational decisions and ground herself no matter what. It's dumb, because she's still technically a high schooler, and laughs at 69 jokes, and refused to buy new boots until her old ones literally fell off her feet. It's dumb because she the most agreeable person Louis ever met, and sometimes wears all her rings because she doesn't want to let any of them feel excluded, and literally sparkles when someone so much as breathes "Good job." in her direction, but.

But she just gives Louis that one certain _look_ , and she's ready to go belly up.  

And she's gotten _so tall_.

"I'm sorry, okay?" Louis grumbles, looking up. When in doubt, use sarcasm. "I didn't realize trying to help out one of the campers and giving them a more positive experience was so awful."

Harry snorts. "Don't give me that bullshit Louis." Louis huffs and takes a step back, trying really hard not to wince at how her shoes rub her, but Harry follows her, so she takes another one. Harry follows. Louis takes another one, exasperated now, but bumps into tree trunk. She blanches for a moment, realizing she has no where left to go, which is when Harry finally closes the space between them, until their hips are practically touching. Her breath smells like mint.

"I know you have a hero complex where you need to effortlessly protect and help everyone but that's not how the world fucking works and one day you could genuinely hurt yourself."

“Now that’s just dramatic.”

“Louis, look me seriously in the eyes right now and tell me your feet aren’t hurting right now.”

Three heart beat past. Louis doesn’t look up.

“That’s what I thought. I know you like Ironman, but Jesus, you don’t have to be martyr like him.”

“Oh, don’t bring fucking Ironman into this, Harry.”

“All I’m saying is that you don’t have to kill yourself for the people you care about Louis. They love you just as much. They don’t want to see you hurt.”

Louis just glares at her petulantly, unable to think of a comeback.

They stay locked together, staring at each other for a couple more moments. Louis' breath keeps hitching, and Harry's eyes flick down to her lips. Wildly, Louis thinks Harry is going to bend down and kiss her.

Even more wild, she doesn't even care.  

But Harry pulls herself away suddenly, grumbling under her breath and stalking over to Louis' bag. "I'm taking some of your food and there's nothing you can do." She yells over her shoulder.

Louis has to take several deep breaths before peeling herself off the tree, feeling inexplicably shaky. Harry grabs Louis’ food capsule and tosses it towards her bag, then grabs the bathroom baggy and stalks off into the woods.

✬✬✬

It's freezing that night. They’re camping at the beginning of Muddy Fork, right next to a good drinking water stream, and the howling wind keeps shoving masses of chilly air through their tent. Louis lies in her sleeping bag, her head propped up on her clothes bag, and shivers desperately. Her clothes bag isn't doing anything for her as a pillow, since she already raided it and is now wearing roughly four layers on each limb. She also low key has to pee, but there's no way in hell she's leaving the tent to go outside.

She hears Harry shift next to her, nearly drown out by the howling of the wind in the trees. Louis listens to her deep, even breaths, until Harry lifts her head and whispers, "Lou? You awake?"

"Yeah." She curls in a little tighter, trying to keep in her body heat.

"It's so cold. I can't sleep."

Louis tries to reply with another "yeah" but a violent shivers breaks the word in half.

"This is dumb." Harry huffs. She must kick out her leg, because the bottom of her sleeping bag jerks into the air. "Unzip your sleeping bag."

"Hell no. I am not moving." Harry may have her long, thick hair to provide her a blanket of warmth, but Louis' hair barely extends past the tops of her shoulders and she is  _cold_ , dammit.

"Fine." All of a sudden, Harry pushes herself up and unzips her sleeping bag. She then crawls over and unzips Louis' bag, before wiggling in next to Louis. Louis' entire body seizes up in surprise as Harry curls around her, pressing her front to Louis' back and curling their legs and icy feet together. Finally, she grabs her old sleeping bag and pulls it over both of them, for an extra layer of warmth

Louis cannot think. Louis’ brain is one long train of static. The only thing that is registering is the warm puffs of air from where Harry’s nose is nuzzled into the back of her neck and how fucking nice the strands of hair that are tickling Louis’ cheek smell.

“Jesus.” Harry murmurs. “Are you actually frozen?” She jabs at Louis over the sleeping bags, hitting her right where she’s most ticklish. She squawks and jerks up.

“FUCK. No. _Harry_. This just, you know this doesn’t mean anything, right?”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” Harry sucks at lying. Even as she says it, she shifts away from Louis a little bit.

“I’m trying to get over it, I really am. But I just. I can’t pretend like this is some casual spooning between friends, y’know?”

Harry is silent behind her. Finally, she clears her throat and whispers, “Do you want me to move, then?”

“I-” Louis hesitates. “No. Please stay.”

“Okay.” Harry breathes, and pulls Louis back closer. It’s because Harry is literally a human heater, Louis rationalizes, and she wants to be well rested for the eight miles tomorrow. And it feels so nice to be held again, Louis could cry a little bit. And no one ever has to know or shoot her pitying/judgemental looks (@Zayn).

Anyway, Harry knows not to expect anything. Just for tonight, it’s fine.

✬✬✬

They’re fine for the next two days. Mostly they walk in an amicable silence, sometimes breaking out into light, chatty small talk. Her blisters still hurt like a bitch, but she purposely complains about everything else in an attempt to convince Harry that she’s fine. Louis goes to bed early the next night, and when Harry crawls in about an hour later, she plasters herself to Louis’ back, like it’s nothing. They’re camping in Elk Cove that night, on the cusp of a beautiful meadow, so Louis doesn’t feel as cold.

The third day dawns crisp and clear, and after the initial first mile of pain and regret, Louis actually feels pretty good. It’s mostly mental, but her pack feels lighter and legs less painful. Harry is bright eyed and chirpy, insisting on stopping every now and then to take pictures on her film camera. In fact, it’s pretty damn picturesque all around, and Louis feels like twirling all of the nine filthy campers around with joy.

Until they reach the glacier.

Eliot Glacier is the biggest roadblock on the Timberline Trail. There are two paths across it, neither of which are very appealing. The first one requires a steep descent with the help of a thin rope down a steep hill of shale, crossing a roaring glacier-melt river, and scrambling across a boulder field. The other route, which is the one they are taking, crosses two different snow banks, skirts around some terrifying glacier crevices, and involves tromping across the boulder field for approximately a mile. However, as Lucas reasons, the fewer treacherous river crossings, the better. (Louis thinks Lucas just doesn't like river crossings since the boys are always forced to wade in and help everyone cross since they're the strongest. She can't exactly blame him; being thigh deep in was-probably-snow-less-than-24-hours-ago water for 20 minutes can't be pleasant.)

Regardless, looking down from the top of the shale hill, the second path looks utterly terrifying. First, they'll have to scramble down the hill, low key starting a mini rockslide. Then they'll cross the first snowbank, which is riddled with crevices and hard packed to ice from all the people who have crossed it before them. After that, there's some bouldering down, then crossing a second snowfield. This one is much nicer, with more snow than ice. After that is just a long tromp through the gully, climbing over giant rocks. All in all, it's not that bad. Except for the first bit. The first bit looks slippery and perilous, especially on tired legs with heavy packs.

"You ready for this, Stallion?"

Sophia shrugs, buckling her pack up. "Sure. No time like the present."

"Atta girl! You and Patagonia go, Harry and I will bring up the back." (The first time Louis saw Patagonia (Emily), she was decked out head to toe in Patagonia gear. These nicknames write themselves, honestly.)

Louis turns to Harry, rolling her shoulders in an attempt to re accustom herself the weight of her bag. "You good H?"

Harry looks very pale under her layers of dust, sweat, and sunscreen. "Fine." She squeaks. "No problem here!"

"You sure?"

"Yep! S'good!" Her eyes keep flickering between Louis' face and the crevices of ice below them.

Louis steps forward and places a comforting hand on Harry's forearm. "Harry, a very wise woman once told me that I need to stop playing the hero in order to hide my pain."

Harry bites her lip. "She sounds annoying."

Louis shrugs. "She has some redeeming qualities." She slides her hand down and presses her thumb into the middle of Harry's palm. "What's wrong? You can tell me."

Harry pulls her gaze away. "I don't... I don't like the heights. Or the ice. Or the perilous cracks. I fall all the fucking time on normal pathways, how the _fuck_  am I supposed to stay upright on that?"

A breeze whistles through the giant ravine, and the scrubby pine next to them groans. From the bottom of the scree hill, Lucas calls out, "Lou, H, are you good?"

Louis hears Harry exhale shakily. "We're great! We're coming! Just give us a minute!" Louis calls back. She turns to Harry, who's now as white as the snow they're suppose to tromp across, and slowly beginning to shake her head. "Haz, baby, hey." She squeezes her hand. "Focus in here love."

"Louis." Harry whispers. "I can't cross that. I can't do it.”

“Yeah you can! Don’t be silly love. You’ve done things much more difficult.”

Harry keeps shaking her head. “I can’t do this. Lou, I can’t. I’m gonna fucking kill myself.”

“Hey, don’t say that. No you aren’t.” She steps forward, lacing their fingers together and brushing her hair off her forehead.

“Yes I _am_!” Harry’s breath rattles in her chest.

“No you aren’t baby.” She squeezes her hand. “You wanna know how I know?”

Harry shuts her eyes tightly. “How?” Her voice quivers.

“Do you remember all those times when we’d go to the river by your house? And I always wanted to go exploring and you were always scared of falling or getting lost?”

“Yeah.” Harry whispers.

“But I never let you fall, did I? I always go you home safe.”

“Yes.” Harry squeezes her hand back. “You always lead me home.”

“Yeah, baby. So can you let me do that now, please? I’ll get you home safe, love.”

“That’s not the same, Lou...”

“Come on, H. I’ll be right by your side. We’ll get through this.”

Her breathing is ragged. “I really don’t want to do this.”

“I know. But if you don’t, then we’re permanently stuck here, and we just don’t have enough food to survive, as hard as that is.”

Harry whimpers a little. Louis steps closer, cupping one of her cheeks. “We just gotta do it, love. Just gotta get it over with.”

They stand silently for a couple more seconds, until Harry drops her hand and finally looks up. “Fine, but if I die, you get none of my stuff.”

Louis grins. “Atta girl. C’mon, we have a campsite to find!”

✬✬✬

They survive crossing the glacier. It’s a damn modern miracle.

Louis feels like she can’t breath for most of it.

✬✬✬

They have one more night and day of hiking. They avoid each other, making excuses to talk to someone else or complete a different chore. Louis doesn’t think about Harry holding her hand and Harry doesn’t mention all the pet names Louis used and everyone ignores the weird private moment they had and it’s fine.

The bus ride back to camp is quiet, with half the campers dozing and the other half bemoaning their blisters. Louis and Harry sit across from each other, occasionally catching eyes but never speaking. When they reach camp, Louis is one of the first off the bus. She swears she hears Harry call her name, but she doesn’t turn around to find out.

✬✬✬

**Author's Note:**

> thank u!! i'll try to update on friday. 
> 
> pls comment what u think and leave a kudo if that tickles ur fancy!!


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